After talking to a friend yesterday, I realized I needed to start updating on this thing again. I've been using this journal since Junior High and I still remember the benefits of updating, but at the same time I keep getting distracted. I'm always being pulled in many different directions all at once and it seems alot of the time I have to let some demands suffer in order to meet the demands of other aspects. I'm working on finding a balance but a lot of trial and error seems to have to happen to me in order for me to find that happy medium. After all, going to extremes has always been so much easier for me. I'm either quiet and reserved or loud and obnoxious, numb and cold or a neurotic bitch.
I think the hardest part for me in juggling school and being a mom is finding time for myself and arranging times to socialize. Anytime I do this I feel guilty because I could have used that time to clean the house, study or spend time with Vincent. This causes me to start ignoring my needs and I end up falling apart in the process and become unable to do anything productive. The whole thing is a vicious cycle.